I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize