sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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