The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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