I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
50% drunk capacity currently
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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