Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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