So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
