my vag is so smooth its legendary
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
