I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize