I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
