the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
