remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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