Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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