party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
