We're facebook friends in real life
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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