I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk is a universal language darling
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
