this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize