considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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