My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
