Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
