I think I died a long time ago.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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