Sponge bath it is.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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