$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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