I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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