if only i could text you this smell
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
