gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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