i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
