dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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