I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ugly people sure do ruin things
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
