my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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