My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
