WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
