I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
