So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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