I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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