did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
