Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
