I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
