I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
