we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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