Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
