we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
