She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
