Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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