I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I enjoy the company of your penis
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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