Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
