last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
