you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
