it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize