Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
