his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
