he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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