dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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