a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Im part way to drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
