wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
