seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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