He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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