He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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