I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
