trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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