i barfeds in our rink
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
