I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think my moral compass just broke
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
