I want to walk on stilts...naked
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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