Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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