She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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