thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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